Writing Lesson of the Month Network

...sharing thoughtful, mentor text-inspired lessons your students will love!

If you've used Kelly's "Beyond Happily Ever After" lesson at the WritingFix Website-- (mentor text = Once Upon a Cool Motorcycle Dude by Kevin O'Malley)

 

Click here to access this freely shared writing lesson! 

 

--and you have up to three edited student samples to share with us, you can post them by copying and pasting them from your computer into our "Reply to This" box below; you may also add samples by adding them as uploaded attachments (like Word documents) to the box below.

 

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Twenty-five Teachers every semester will win a free classroom resource!  Each semester, we choose 25 new students to publish at our online lessons directly at the world-famous WritingFix website. To have your students' writing considered, it can be posted below in the box underneath  this posting.  In November and May, we will select the 25 students whose writing impressed us the most, and if your student(s) is selected, you will be asked to choose from any of the NNWP Print Publications (http://www.unr.edu/educ/nnwp/publications.html) for us to send to your classroom.

 

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--Corbett Harrison, WritingFix Webmaster

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Replies to This Discussion

Once Upon A Cool Motorcycle Dude

by Erin, a 5th Grader 

 

            The ice cold night settled in. The wind howled at the glass window that Princess Tenderheart stood behind. Her tears dripped down her face like a flood. Her heart ached. She could not stop thinking what would happen if all failed. She watched the Dude as he roved around Buttercup. She saw three puffs of smoke fill the air. The Giant's terrifying roars started creeping up as slowly as a mouse. Then out of nowhere this giant green blob appeared. Princess Tenderheart screamed. The Giant charged at the princess. Running as fast as lightning, the princess ran to her bed and hid. The Dude chased after the Giant, grinding and shredding the dirt and grass as he went. A drop of dew flew through the air. The second it touched the Giant's skin, he collapsed like an enormous tower. He evaporated just like water. The ponies were instantly set free. Princess Tenderheart ran down the stairs, her feet chilling with every stride. She and her father fulfilled the promise and gave the Dude the golden thread. They watched him ride off into the cold, wet, foggy distance.

 

Once Upon A Cool Motorcycle Dude

By Taylor, a 5th Grader 

 

            Up in the princess's chamber, Princess Tenderheart was crying her tender heart out. She could not bear losing Buttercup, so she refused to eat and was as skinny as a toothpick. As she pushed away her shining silver plate filled with bread, butter and grapes, she looked out of her window hoping to catch one more sight of that glimmering yellow coat. But instead of seeing a beautiful pony, princess Tenderheart saw a monkey....The princess rubbed her eyes. She had always wanted a pet monkey. She took a closer look at him and frowned. For that was no monkey, it was a Dude! Not just any dude, a Dude that was smelly and drenched with sweat. He sat patiently, sharpening his might sword that glimmered like a crystal in the evening sun. The princess reached for her goblet full of water but suddenly stopped. The water shook. The goblet shook. The ground shook. The princess fell over and bumped her head on her wooden stepping stool. She was knocked out.

            Outside, bursting from the broccoli forest was a green, ugly, one-eyed Giant with a horn at the top of his head. The Dude jumped to his feet. Holding his mighty sword, he dared the Giant to take one more step towards Buttercup. It seemed as if the enormous kingdom itself shrunk in fear of the horrible Giant. The battle began. The Dude charged at the Giant's feet. But the Giant laughed and waved a bag full of ponies in front of the kingdom. The Giant's laugh sounded like thunder beating down with rain. The Dude heard the whinny of the ponies from inside the bag and stopped charging. The Giant's toes smelled of rotten eggs, making the Dude cough and fall to the ground. The Giant licked his dirt covered lips and grabbed Buttercup, shoving the poor pony to the bottom of the patchwork bag. He rubbed his stomach and grinned.            

            The Dude suddenly bounced back up and jumped onto the bag full of ponies while cutting off the top, which caused the ponies to fall to the ground. The ponies raced to their stables with Buttercup leading the way. The Dude rushed onto the Giant, and as he reached the top of his head, he sliced the horn off the Giant's shiny, bald head. The Giant started bawling and raced off crying for his mommy.

            The Dude met the princess, who had a HUGE bruise on her forehead, and the King in front of the kingdom. They both thanked him for his service with a handshake and all of the golden thread. The Dude rode off under the sparkling moon.

 

Once Upon A Cool Motorcycle Dude

by Miles, a 5th Grader 

 

            The Giant stomped in front of the Dude. His eyes flared with anger. He roared like a volcano erupting. The Dude grabbed the Giant's meaty fists, squeezing his finger like an eagle clutching a fish. The Dude was almost squeezing the life out of the Giant. "NO!" the Dude screamed, falling from the Giant's gigantic fist. The Dude was falling like a meteorite. He fell on his feet making a thud, shaking the ground. The Giant knocked the Dude to a rock and was knocked out.

            He woke up with his neck cramped, as if someone was pulling his head with strong force. "NO!" the Dude screamed. The Giant grabbed Buttercup and squeezed her in his hand while the Giant stomped away trying to escape. "Help!" the Dude yelled. Five knights smashed through the glass windows. "Jump on him!" the Dude yelled. "But, he's too big," one of the knights stammered. "Do what I say," the Dude commanded. "Yes sir," one of the knights whimpered. The five knights jumped on the Giant's back. Buttercup fell out of the Giant's hand, falling to the ground on her unstable legs. She neighed a high-pitched screech, relief flowing in her eyes.

            The knights were swaying on the Giant's back. He struggled to knock them off. His fist grew as big as a two story house. Suddenly, the Giant's hand opened and he knocked the knights to the ground, whipping them like a fly. Four knights fell to their backs groaning with pain, while one remained on the Giant's forehead holding on for dear life. "Jump!" the Dude said. "I am not a coward!" the knight growled. "I was born here! I will risk my life!" he screamed. He had a hard, jagged rock in his hand and he crushed it over the Giant's head. The Giant roared, blazing fury burning in his red eyes. He squeezed the knight until there was no life left in him. The knight was dead. The Giant's forehead was as swollen as a watermelon.      The Giant ran away without Buttercup. The Dude ran faster than a bullet dashing to the Giant. Crash! The Dude pushed the Giant off the cliff. Oh my gosh, the Dude ran to the knight who risked his life. "You should have never died," the Dude whispered. Suddenly, the Dude fell to the ground lifeless, while the knight rose. "NO!" the knight whispered. He grabbed the Dude's body and took him to the King. "The Dude was a brave man, and now he is gone forever," the king said quickly. But the coffin suddenly shook. "What the?" the king whispered. The coffin opened and the Dude popped out from the dead. "Hey, don't you owe him the golden thread?" the princess yelled to the King. The King growled, but the kingdom cheered.

Cool Motorcycle Dude VS. Giant

 by Dominic, a 4th grader

          "I is getting other pony NOW!" the Giant said, " Not on my watch your not!" the cool motorcycle dude said. He was riding towards the giant and, AND...Let's start at the beginning.

          Princess Tenderheart was sobbing very badly up in her tower thinking why did the giant have to take her ponies away from her garden? Well, not all hope is gone. She still has Buttercup. She refused to eat or talk. She only spun gold thread for three days.  Until a cool motorcycle dude rode up to the king, with his shiny, gray motorcycle with 5 motors, and red-hot flames. "I'll sit here and wait for that giant, that's if you give me all of that precious gold thread."

          An hour later, the giant came up and smashed the king's guards. None of them ever lost hope. "I is getting other pony NOW!" the Giant said, Not on my watch your not!" the cool motorcycle dude said. He was riding towards the giant. The dude saw a gold, metallic sword hanging out of a rock. He pulled it out and threw it at the giant's horn and kicked him off of the cliff, saving the ponies. The princess ran down from her tower, and dearly thanked the dude. She gave him all the gold thread, and he rode under the moon never to be seen again. No one will ever forget the tragic story of the cool motorcycle dude.

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