Writing Lesson of the Month Network

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If you've used our "Just the Facts, Ma'am" voice lesson at the WritingFix Website--

 

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Waffle House Man

Jackson, 6th grade

7:02 AM

      This is the Waffle House.  Waffles go in and out of here every 30 minutes.  But the great Waffle Machine had been stolen!  My name is Waffle House Man, or WHM for short.  I am the manager of the waffle house.

      I set out for the Pancake House, our rivals.  I saw a sign that said 'Now Serving Waffles'.  I burst in there screaming, but they didn't have the waffle machine.  The waffle machine was bulky.  They had a small waffle iron.  No wonder they didn't make delicious waffles!

DUM DA DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 

Mrs. Blueberry Syrup's house  3:02 PM

     I got the call from Mrs. Syrup.  She was yelling, "MY WAFFLE IRON WAS STOLEN!"  I rushed there quickly.

     "HELP!  My waffle iron!  My waffle iron!  Help!" she said, confused.  "Just the facts, ma'am, just the facts", I asked calmly.  "My waffle iron was stolen by a mysterious man!  He looked like a muffin!" she told me with a serious reply.

DUM DA DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 

Muffin Man's House  7:02 PM

     As I walked up Drury Lane, I heard a familiar voice.  It was Muffin Man!  He was singing, "Do You Know the Muffin Man?" as loudly as he could.  I stopped him and his off-pitch singing right away.

     "Where are the waffle irons?" I asked Mr. Muffin Man, who was busy making muffins.

     "You will never get them!" he shouted, trying to run away.  He ran and ran and ran.

     Then I released the birds from my backpack.  They ate the muffin man up.  The waffle machine was returned. 

     Delicious waffles still go out of the Waffle House every 30 minutes.

 

The Criminal

by Jacob (5th)

3:45 A.M.

     This is the house...the place where it all got started.  My wife was getting ready for her job.  She gave me a hug and left.  I was left all alone.  I felt odd today because I always have a twitch in my arm when there is a criminal near.  I looked out my window and saw Mr. M. Miller.  He was for some reason sleeping on his kitchen floor.  As soon as my wife was long gone, he abruptly woke up and he looked wide-awake.  And from that moment on I thought I knew he was the one that was making my arm twitch.

 

                                   DUMMMM DUM DUM DUM DUUUUUMMMMMMMM

 

10:45 A.M.

     I fell back asleep and woke up again.  I remembered the incident about Mr. Miller.  I go to my lab and try to figure it all out.  Just at that very moment, I get a call saying that there is a robbery six houses down from mine.  I go to investigate the scene.  I see Mr. Miller coming out of the house and I see a woman screaming at me, "Arrest him, Detective Jacob!".  I'm thinking that I should, but I don't because I have learned, the hard way.  I follow up with my plans and explore the house.  As soon as I walk in, I see a blood trail and broken glass.  I asked the woman, who introduced herself as Maria, if she was in the paper recently, and if she gave her exact address and if she had won anything that most people don't....  She said, "Why, most indubitably!!  I won the Million Dolllar Jackpot!  Why do you ask?"  I said, "Oh, just wondering."  "That man probably stole it all," she says.  I say, "Oh, yeah, why didn't he have money in his hands?"  Maria looked guilty and started to sob, "Help me!  I just got robbed and I need help!  Please believe me!"  I said, "You're under arrest for false information and you will receive a $500 fine."

            DUMMMM DUM DUM DUM DUUUUUMMMMMMM

 

5:00 P.M.

     When we got to the police station, I plunked her into the jail cell and locked her up.  Just then, it came to me that Mr. Miller had been set up!  He was not the one who had made my left arm twitch--it was that woman!  I went home and told my wife immediately and she congratulated me.  Then, I cautiously walked to Mr. Miller's house.  I then questioned him about the setup.  He told me that Maria called him and asked for a cup of tea to celebrate her winnings.  "When I got there," he said, "the glass was already broken and her hand was all bloody.  Then she said that you needed to arrest me.  As soon as I heard that, I got scared, and started to run.  And by coincidence, I jumped out the window.  So it looked like I was stealing her money."  I said, "Oh, I undertand what you're talking about now!"

 

5:30 P.M.

     This is the house...the house where I rest, after I solved a hard crime.

 

                  DUMMMM DUM DUM DUM DUUUUUMMMMMMMMM

 

Here is one by Andrew, a 10th grader:

Note: All characters and events in this account are real. The names have been changed to protect those involved.

                  This is the school. RoseFlower Academy, situated in a building behind a church that will remain anonymous. Smaller than many schools, but big enough for plenty of people—especially some troublemakers. Things happen. Grudges are formed. When those are acted on, foul play results. And when there’s foul play, people need someone to crack the case. That someone is me.

                  8:12 A.M. I’d just arrived in my office. She swept into the room like a storm, a swirling wind of emotions, resolve, and readiness to slap at a moment’s notice. I could tell from the way she walked that she meant trouble, and trouble is my middle name. Well, not really. My middle name is Trumble. But it sounds a little like trouble. She was Columbian, by the look of her. She didn’t mince words, but cut right to the chase.

“I’ve lost something, and I think it’s been stolen.”

“What’s the object in question?”

“A moose.”

“You lost a moose?”

“I told you, it was stolen!”

“When did you last see it?”

“This morning, around eight, when I got here.”

“When did you notice it was missing?”

“A few minutes ago. I went back to my desk, and it was gone! That moose had all my pencils and pens! What am I going to do without my pencils?!”

“Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts.”

“Ma’am? We’re in high school!”

“Never mind that. Any suspects?”

“Well, there’s one guy who’s been eyeing my moose for a while now. Don’t know him.”

“Description?”

“He’s tall, broad-shouldered, has short hair. That’s all I know.”

“That’ll do fine. I’ll get on it right away, you’ll have your moose back before you can say quantum entanglement teleportation!”

“Say what?”

“Exactly.” I decided to investigate the scene of the crime. I left the office.

                  8:15 A.M. The lights beat down on the hallway like a hammer—a relentless, hot, beating hammer, hammering down like a big metaphor that was… hot… for some reason. I arrived at the scene of the crime—a desk in the back of the English classroom. I noticed another girl nearby, one Kiana Noer. I approached her.

“Excuse me, ma’am, I’d like to ask you a few questions, if you’ve got the time.”

“Ma’am? What’s going on?” Her voice was inquisitive, curious. “Why are you talking like that?” She was observant. Maybe a little too observant. “Why is everything black and white all of a sudden?”

“If it’s all the same to you, ma’am, I’ll ask the questions.”

“Seriously? What do you want now?”

“I understand there was a robbery recently. I’m looking for a tall, broad-shouldered fellow, possibly takes interest in mooses. Meese. More than one moose.”

“Oh, that guy. I don’t know anything about that guy.” I slipped her a twenty. Greed can make anyone talk.

“Yeah, I have some information. He’s a tall, broad-shouldered fellow, takes interest in Luzadriana’s moose.”

“I thought you said you have information!”

“I didn’t say it was fresh…”

“There’s a thief at large, ma’am.”

“Ok, his locker is near Luz’s. Maybe he stole it from her or something. I don’t know! Go away!” She had obviously said everything she had to say. I decided to head to the location she had given me.

                  8:23 A.M. I found him there- tall, short hair, fit the description perfectly. His shirt said something about ‘awesomeness’. I approached him carefully. “Excuse me, sir, I’d like to ask you some questions.”

“Sir? That’s stupid. What’s with the saxophone?”

“I’m a detective, sir. I need the saxophone.”

“That’s stupid. Whadaya want?”

“There’s been a robbery, and I think you know something about it!” This seemed to take him by surprise—he started visibly.

“No I didn’t. Who are you talking to, anyway?”

“Narration.”

“That’s stupid.” For such a big fellow, he didn’t seem to have a vocabulary to match.

“Shut up.”

“Did you steal the moose?”

“Moose? No! I have a reindeer, though. It’s up on this shelf.”

“That’s a moose.”

“It’s a reindeer.”

“Moose.”

“Reindeer.”

“Moose.”

“Reindeer.”

“Moose.”

“Antelope.”

“Fair enough. I’ll be taking it now, if you don’t mind.”

“Whatever.” I was glad he gave up easily. I didn’t have time for a fight—I had to get that antelope back before my client figured out how to say quantum entanglement teleportation.

“Say what?” He was still listening. Interesting.

“You’re stupid.”

                  8:27 A.M. She was waiting there.

“I think I figured it out! It’s ‘quarter spandanglement amputation,’ right? What does that even mean?”

I always keep my promises.

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